I went to a school friend's mom's funeral last week. Said friend spoke about how death is really a part of nature, circle of life, equally as common as birth and as an atheist, all it means is that someone you used to see everyday will not be there anymore. There was a slant of relief in that statement too as his mom had suffered for some time. But no sign of resignation - more like bliss from acceptance.
Someone thought it highly disrespectful to his mom to have spoken like that at her funeral. I'm not so sure I agree with that statement though, as he and his mom had a bond - an appreciation that nobody outside of that dynamic should have the right to question, together with the bounds of honour and respect that come with that. Actually in a round-a-bout way, his attitude is refreshing in a sea of emo that 2007 has washed over people I know - but that's my personal context. Just like the person who objected - just because she would not not want an eulogy like that, is from her perspective she objects.
P.S. I'm shrugging off all this glumness, hence the white background change. Corny? you betcha, but sometimes silly tokens help get the ball rolling... :)
4 comments:
Sounds like your friend has a very sensible outlook on things. Whatever helps you cope, I think. My take on funerals is that it's not so much about the person who has passed away (they couldn't care less) but more about those who are left behind. White is good, too. Of course, it's a funeral colour in India... how 'bout bright orange? Green is taken. ;)
white is very good. calming, serene, minimalist. i've entered my white phase, and i don't think i'm coming out any time soon -
EOH - agreed about the purpose of funerals
Arcadia - normal white is all those things; on the other hand blogger white jumps out the screen and slaps my corneas silly! Maybe I'm just used to the black, but we'll see :)
I agree with your take on it. Her son honoured her by being himself, speaking as the man she'd raised him to be. That's what makes parents proudest.
People told me a similar thing when my gran & I were involved in a massive fight a week before she died. But I told them that to nod & agree with her now, only because she was dying would have been so insulting to her. Our relationship had been like that my entire life. (I resolved things with her the last time I saw her though...in that way we agreed to disagree... which always cheers those judgemental people).
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